PARTNER ME, PARTNER YOU

I am learning in my finance class that entering into a partnership can be pretty tricky. Even when the contracts are finally drawn up each party has to know what they are getting into. There are limitations they have to accept and responsibilities they have to bear so that they can both get what they want.

Despite the trickiest business deals, there can no partnership more complicated than a romantic relationship. Think of all the things that go on the line: your free time, your phone talk time, your texting time, your freedom to pursue other people…the list of negotiations is endless. And these are pretty important things to negotiate! What if you just want to spend the afternoon with your friends, and not your significant other? What if you want to get lunch alone? What if you are a smoker? No matter how understanding both parties are, rules bear down on what each one can and cannot do. Even rituals you had to yourself you may have to share with someone else.

Despite all the equations we learn in finance class, I begin to wonder - what are the right and wrong reasons to enter into this kind of partnership?

I think the decision has to start with asking, what makes you happy?

Imagine what would make you happy. For example, how much time do you imagine spending with the person you would be in a relationship with? While in a relationship, how would you want them to treat other people? And how would you like to plan for the future (separately or together)?

There may be other factors that go into the equation, but these issues are pretty valuable. Consider the first example. Would you want a relationship in which you share the maximum amount of time together? Meet for breakfast, text during class, study in the library together, and then maybe get in bed at the end of the day?

Would you want a relationship in which the other person pays no attention to other girls (or other boys) and their attention is only and always on you? In this case, when at the cafeteria, or at party, would talking and maybe flirting with new people not be allowed?

And, finally, when the inevitable time comes for all of us college students to think about the future, whose dream do you follow? If you map out that genius business plan you always had, or finally print out the admissions application to the grad program of your dreams do you then cut out the graduate programs on the coast your significant other doesn't want to be on?

Don't get me wrong, it is not always black and white. In other partnerships, like in family or in friendships, compromises come down to a shade of gray. But when it comes to love, it seems it is easier to loose sight of the original picture of what we wanted this to look like. Suddenly, your compromise becomes compromising.

Don't do this. After all, in love, as in any partnership, you are supposed to be happy. And the three valuable issues I listed are not the only ones. That other person should be fun, everyday, for whatever reason. Whatever is exciting to you should be there, everyday. And whatever makes you feel secure and safe should be there everyday. If not, that's a partnership in which you are loosing, not gaining. And in finance, as well as love, you don't want your stock to go down. Remember to invest in yourself you will have reap strong dividends.